While I passed by some tossed out screens on my evening run I came up with the following, nearly all of them completely true and most through personal experience! Feel free to add your own experiences...
You know you own an Old House when...
1. you memorized your window frame dimensions in case you come across an old wood screen at the curb on garbage day.
2. you leave your door unlocked so contractors can come and go as they please.
3. you open your crockpot at dinnertime to discover it's plugged into the same circuit that you were working on all day.
4. you can use two, and only two, of the following kitchen appliances at any given time: microwave, coffee pot, and toaster. Forget about starting the crockpot.
5. your basement holds more water than the septic tank.
6. your attic is a sanctuary for misunderstood creatures.
7. your spouse has the sewer line replaced for your anniversary gift.
8. you really like the gift.
9. a right angle is the one that works.
10. instead of insulation, the walls are stuffed with newspapers reporting Lincoln's assassination.
11. you cried during the movie "Giant" because they painted their woodwork white.
12. after watching the latest Harry Potter installment, all you can talk about is Professor Slughorn's Chesterfield and scheme to buy one for the gentlemen's parlor.
13. instead of a contract, you and your contractor sign a flow-chart (IF we pull up these shingles and there's no roof underneath...)
14. every possible outcome for the flowchart equals $$$$$
15. despite aforementioned $$$$$ opportunity, 9 contractors out of 10 run away from your house screaming, never to be heard from again.
16. and last but not least...someone has the shingles and you ask if they are cedar shake or asphalt.